Saturday, January 26, 2008


Why do I post Classic SBI blogs?

Hell why do I write new ones much less re-post old ones.

Inquiring Top Ten Minds must ask "Why Classic blogs"

Top Ten Reasons I re-post old (Classic) Softball Insider Blogs

10. No reason I'm just weird like that
9. My mind is caught up in one repetitive recursive loop and I can't help it
8. I've watched one to many 1986 Met Highlight Video and get caught up in the corny nostalgia
7. "Those that forget their softball/baseball past are doomed to repeat it." Winston Churchill, Yogi, Blonde, or Casey Stengel said that
6. Writer's block - obviously
5. Unemployed people like me start losing their creativity after a while. Need to rehash old shit
4. Helps rekindle the softball vibe inside of me
3. Loser
2. I've love them and I am proud of some of my best work - Rosenfishing blog, Stripper's blog, Zagat softball review blog - warped but full of fun and fond memories

and the Number one Reasons I re-post old (Classic) Softball Insider Blogs

1. No one read the blog the first time around, so maybe posting it again will get it viewed. In other words, just another pathetic attempt for attention by.

Friday, January 25, 2008

Mr. February & an SBI classic

Some players care called Mr. October (Reggie Jackson) or Mr. November (Jeter) because they rise to the occasion in the post season during these months.
These are proud nicknames and tags.

While other players are called Mr. May or April (Dave Windfield and Alex Rodriguez) b/c their production comes early in the year when their is little pressure and then they suffer some sort of post season failure. Obviously, these compliments are back handed in nature.

But what about if your called Mr. February (Rick?)?
Man that's a diss. It's like saying your only good in practice.
No softball is played in February. Check that rarely is softball played in February. Jimmy Bitros and los locos could sneak out on a 50+ degree day.

Why the hell am I bringing this up?
It' still January for Christ sake
Well I had nothing better to do and I came across an old blog that is right up Mr. February' s alley.

In February most people either hit inside a batting cage or throw inside a cage, and judging someone from these indoor activities can be misleading. It's only practice.

Anyway Enjoy the classic below (by the way a Top Ten on why I post classic blogs will be a future topic)

Originally posted April 2007

In my warped mind I stated thinking how similar the batting cages and strip clubs really are :

Top Ten Reasons Why the Batting Cages and Strip Clubs are similar

10. They're both a waste of money
9. They have their own currency - the batting cages uses tokens, strip clubs use funny money
8. They both serve as a means to release stress and other things
7. Both give you fake confidence - You think your the man when you walk out
6. Both are only an illusion that doesn't really compare to the real thing - especially implants
5. Both are usually run down dumps held together by a few loyal sucker patrons
4. A lot of lying goes on - People at the cage tell you you have a good swing and can still play - strippers tell you your good looking and sweet - both tell you what you want to hear
3. Mostly men hang out in both establishments
2 Most female patrons that hang out in these establishments are Lesbians

and the Number One Reasons Why the Batting Cages and Strip Clubs are similar

1. In the long run neither place makes you any better but you get some short term satisfaction

Friday, January 18, 2008

B!TC% Betta Have my Money!!!!!!!!

In baseball, the winter meetings are the time in the off sesson when teams get together to trade for or sign new ball players. Sometimes a lot gets down, sometimes ground work for futures deals happen, somethimes general managers do nothing but get drunk and get lap dances.

In softball, leagues have "meetings" as well during the winter.

Top Ten things that happen during a softball leagues Winter Meetings

10. Beer and a lot of food that is really bad for you
9. Trash talking.
8. Nothing - waste of time
7. Managers promise not to "poach other team players"
6. Lying about #7- most stud players have been called by other managers before their Happy new year hangover has passsed. Recruitement is usually cut throat in softball
5. Obscure rules are argued over. In fact much to do is made about nothing usually.
4. Power struggles
3. Talk about last year and last years problems - and in the end nothing gets done.
2. People don't vote to make things better, they vote to make things better for their team - Selfish behavior > Competitive balance

and the #1 things that happen during a softball leagues Winter Meetings

1. All commissioners are like the old skool rap group AMG,
"BITCH Better Have my Money!!!!!!!!" - managers are told how much to pay and by when. Anything else is unacceptable!!!! In most leagues, before opening day one must pay!!!!!

Sunday, January 6, 2008

Politically Incorrect

One of the hardest things about forming a new team is selecting a team name that fits the identity of the ball club. I've played on a lot of teams with bad names ( subject for another blog).
Some people put a lot of thought and pride into selecting a team name and that's cool , whatever floats your boat I guess. But being the unemployed "way too much time on my hands" sick person that I am I started thinking about Politically incorrect teams so .....

Top Ten Politically Incorrect Softball Names that I've seen, heard of , or thought about

10. Doggie Style - What pervert wouldn't love this name?
9. Natural Born Killers - ghetto. not to mention a wack movie
8. Phillie's Blunt - This was a great team. What chronic could hate that name?
7. KKK - just wrong but under freedom of speech would be allowed
6. GoodFellas - great team. 1/2 the roster made a cameo on the Sopranos. Unfortunately reinforced a stereotype. Lot's of goons and scary individuals
5. Carpet Munchers - girl's softball team
4. Uptown Chiefs - no native Americans played on this team b/c they own most of the casinos around the USA.
3. Bootie Smackers - I like the name, but these guys are major goons, use illegal pitching, and mostly suck.
2. Bottom's Up - Gay league - like I said whatever floats your boat

and the #1 Politically Incorrect Softball Names that I've seen, heard of , or thought about

1. Pimps and Hoes - not a bad co-ed team name. More of a fantasy than anything else

Honorary Mention
Drunk and High - good team. Not a bad way to go through life
Contact - great team that had nothing to do with weed
Sin City - sponsored by strip club in the Bronx. I used to try and go to see their games in EMS

Friday, January 4, 2008


I just" got laid off.

Happy New Year!!!!!!

Yeah it fucking sucks.

In all my new blog notifications I always write "Checkout" b/c it's more than just a game".

Kind of Ironic huh?

Anyway, only my sick twisted mind could associate getting laid off with Softball.

I need therapy right now so why not Blog when you have 10-14 hours extra a day to kill.

Top Ten Ways Softball and Getting Laid off are related

10. Getting laid off is like getting thrown off a team you've been on for years.
In business, you give your job your heart, soul, blood, sweat, & tears and they just cut you to cut costs and take the fall for the mistakes they've made.
In softball, the pain is worse, your manager lets you go for some new stud. Whats worse its like they don't even remember all the personal sacrifices you've made over the years and the good times.

9. What goes around comes around in both. It's a small world. Karma baby

8. Career Advancement
The second you get laid off at work you try and find a better job with more money & benefits.
Same idea in softball, you want to play on a new team with a chance to win and earn playing time.

7. Recruitment
When you get laid off in business you call recruiters to get the career search going and use their connections.
In Softball, when you want a new team to get a fresh start you call your softball connections to land a new gig.
P.S. Never trust recruiters - they will tell you anything to place you
P.S.S. Never trust people who use their so called friend, who just happens to be a stud player, as a way of getting on a team. Shows low character.

6. THE MAN runs corporate America. The umpire runs a softball game.
Never trust either one.

5. Both involve Politics. In other words, their is mad bullshit behind the scenes that you have no control over. In business you hate to see someone keep their job who deserves to be fired. Same idea in softball.

4. SOFTBALL AND UNEMPLOYMENT can actually be a good marriage if certain things are in place. For example, if it's nice summer weather, you have plenty of savings & low bills. If this is true, not working will help you rest, improve your game, reduce stress, and let you get high and drunk during games without worrying about waking up early for work in the morning.

3. When yo get laid off from work in the real world you stress and worry.
In softball, if your in a slump or on a losing streak you stress and worry.

2. To get a new job you have to sell yourself.
You need a resume that shows an employer what skills you bring to the table.
In softball, your past performance, reputation, ability to play numerous positions, experience, and game statistics are your resume and selling points.

and the #1 Way Ways Softball and Getting Laid off are related

1. Faith and Hustle. To get a new job and play softball you need both to succeed