Monday, April 28, 2008


Today I sprained my ankle really bad on freak play.
It hurts like hell.
But I played through it for 3 REASONS:
(1) I'm stupid
(2) Heart
(3) Like my favorite character Warf on the nerdy Star Trek TV show used to say


The softball gods rewarded me with a good game as I was able to exorcise my terrible Saturday demons and contribute to a 2-1 West victory.

I've heard it said that softball players are old, fat, and out of shape.
Hey that's true, but their is a select elite few that carry on that warrior mentality till the end.
Here is my elite list of True Softball Warriors in no particular order

Murphy - he will never quit, doesn't quit, and will take whatever over the counter stacker drug needed to compete.

Gil - A top notch ballplayer who plays to win at all times.

Carlos Con - the guy's knee is almost shot - but he comes out to compete with great pride.

Lou "22" Gonzalez AKA The Commish - You can see the intensity and desire to win in his eyes. He has heart. A true champion

Mickey Pekins - short on size, big on confidence and courage. The guy is playing right now with 2 plates in his arm. He can't swing the bat yet and still plays. The softball love keeps him going

Jimmy Bitros - He's like the post office man of softball. Neither, rain, sleet. snow, nor injuries keeps him from playing.

Larry Trillo - who? He's a guy I played with in Long Island and Merrill Lynch. He's the guy on the other team you hate. He probably beat you up in high school.
You only like him when he's on your own team.
Comes from Brooklyn.
He's not scared of anyone and always plays hard.

Chucky - Who part II ? Skinny kid I play with on Wednesday with in Bob's league. The kid may not be smooth but he will run through a wall for you.

Ramish - came back from a serious injury to once again become a top pitcher.

Honorable Mention
Angelo West - 100% commitment to winning. Never quits
Wayne - Cardinals - built like truck but plays through injuries all the time
John Sheppard - played through serious knee injury last year
Dio - warrior manger - fights to the end to win
Gubi -plays hurt, but gives you a guilt trip about it
Castillo - believe or not John plays hurt at times especially at the end of the year. The problem is you start hurting more from his injuries than he does.


Sunday, April 27, 2008

Big Apple Central Park vs. Colgate - Hillary Clinton is the difference

On my new team West a lot of the guys play in 2 leagues on Sunday - Big Apple Central Park and Colgate in the Bronx

Let's compare

10. Fields - not even close - Central park fields are amazing.
In Colgate you have to be careful not fall on a syringe when you dive for a ball
Edge : Big Apple
9. Competition - Big Apple league is very competitive, but the Colgate league simply has more hitters overall.
Edge : Colgate - closer than you think though especially at the top
8. Umpires - Big Apple umps are stubborn, close minded and clueless. Colgate umps deal with a lot of pressure and abuse. It's just hard to get good umps so we'll call this a tie.
Edge : Tie
7. Ball - A very underrated aspect in any league is the type of ball used. Some softballs like Clincher Gold's or corkers that are live and travel like rockets. I'm a big fan of these two types of softballs. Unfortunately, both leagues uses the regular clincher - no edge
Edge: Tie
6. Pitching Style : No league is pefect, but for the most part Colgate does a better job of enforcing modified pitching rules. In the Big Apple modified pitching rules no longer apply.
Edge : Colgate
5. Fans - Colgate has more hardcore fans, but central park has tourist who take pictures.
Edge : Central Park - close though
4. Food - not even close. Colgate has rice, beans, meat, beer - excellent. Zagatt's rated 4 stars by Edgar Jr. and we all know he's an expert on food. Central Park has Panama selling 3 coronas for ten dollars and stale pretzels and nasty hot dogs that give you the runs, and I don't mean runs around the bases.
Edge : Colgate
3. Money - Colgate is a money league. The Big is not
Edge: Big Apple - I like the fact that a lot of good players play for prestige, bragging rights, and competition. Like the real world, money ruins things.
2. Three Outfielders vs. Four Outfielders. Colgate uses 3, Big Apple uses 4.
Edge: Tie - this is a just a matter of choice. Whatever floats your boat
1. Weirdos. If your a dentist and are looking for clientele go to Colgate, a lot of the fans have no teeth. Lots of characters out there.
In Central Park, players often say "only in NY" with the things we see. For example, today a man and a woman dressed up as Hillary and Bill Clinton and ran around the bases and slid at home. I cannot make that up - only in NY.
Edge: Central Park

Final Tally
Ties 3
Colgate 3
Big Apple 4

Wow that' close. It could easily have gone the other way.

P.S. I hope Obama shows up next week


Tuesday, April 22, 2008


A ban can come in many different shapes in sizes but it's purpose is to protect society.

We all know about or use Ban deodorant.

It keeps you dry and prevents body odor. Good stuff in life and especially in softball we need all the deodorant possible b/c it's hot and dirty out there.

Sometimes the radio will ban an artists music b/c its lyrics are too obscene.
Like Uncle Luke and 2 live crew back in the day.

Certain criminals are so dangerous that they are banned from society and their face is plastered on a poster so that authorities can hunt them down and keep them from harming the public.

Softball's version of a ban comes in the form of a modified pitcher's ban list.

Here are the modified pitcher's ban lists in two of the cities biggest, strongest and most competitive leagues - Inwood and EMS

Inwood 2007 banned list
1. Solito
2. Mike Sanchez - Dea (EMS)
3. Jeff - Dea (EMS)
4. John Miranda
5. John Brown - Choice Parts (Central park League)
6. Zorro
7. James Parker - (Central park League)
8. John Rocker
9. Steve Jimenez- (Gunny, 54st League)
10. Frankie Rodriguez - Cardinals (Gunny, 54st League)
11. Bobby Langa - Gents (Central park League)
12. Solano
13. Cedric Washington
14. Johanny - Hit Squad (Gunny, 54st League)
15. Angel - Highlanders
16. “Doc” - Choice Parts (Central park League)
17. Ramish
18. MEIO (mee-yo)
19. Clay – Choice Parts (Central park League)
20. Sleepy
21. Mike Cuevas

EMS banned list 2008


3. JEFF D.E.A/ Cardinals

A league is either Modified or it isn't, there is no in between.

If any or all of these pitchers are in your league, your league is not modified.

These lists were formed to prevent pitchers that do not conform to ASA pitching standards from "slinging " in a modified league. These lists are not perfect and sometimes pitchwers sneak through but they are eventually weeded out and banned.

Stop the slingers before it becomes a real problem.
Competitive balance will be compromised.
UMPIRES will not call illegal pitchers, they just wont - its on the commissioner to stop illegal pitchers immediatley.

To quote my friend and softball's version of "FDR" Jimmy Bitros "Consensus is the absence of leadership".

nuff' said - now I'm going to go listen to my Uncle Luke CD


Monday, April 21, 2008

New Team, New Ace?? Top Ten on Demand

Yesterday was my first day on a new team - West - defending Big Apple Champions.

We spilt a double header against the Pipefitters.


It's a long season there will be other days.

Of note, in game two we fell behind by 6 runs and manager John Sheppard brought in his gold glove shortstop Hector Hernandez to pitch to the last two innings.

Hector represented himself well by allowing only 1 unearned run in his two frames and requested that I write a Top Ten on why he should have started game two.


Top Ten Reasons Hector should have started game two against the Pipefitters.

10. He ain't Joba Chamberlain. He isn't on a pitch count. No need to baby him.
9. If we let him pitch more maybe he will show up more.
Instead of looking to show up just enough to qualify for the playoffs.
8. He throws strikes. Against a disciplined scrappy pipefitters offense that helps.
7. Hector will be the grand Marshall of the Puerto Rican day parade in June and needed a tune up start before the parade. He wants to lead the parade and start on the same day. Hick style
6. Dio Jackson was in the stands and was scouting him.
5. This corny ass blog would never have been written
4. No hay nadie ma
3. He's our best shortstop. It makes total sense to weaken our defense - not!!!!!!!!
2. He had a pulse and we were missing our #1 and #2 starters - Murphy and Myers

and the Number One Hector should have started game two against the pipefitters.

1. He's a legal modified pitcher. Oh my bad, that's not a big apple requirement anymore.

Sunday, April 20, 2008

Tyrannosauras Rex Modified

Riddle me this?

What does modified softball in the Big apple league and a Tyrannosaurus Rex dinosaur have in common?

Tyrannosaurus rex

Simple : They are both Extinct.

The common reaction to when someone complains about open or sling pitchers is
"be a man. just hit it".

Manhood was nothing to so with it. It's simply playing the game you signed up for.

If you sit down in the casino and want to play blackjack, the dealer doesn't spin a roulette wheel.
You get dealt your cards and if you win you win and if you lose you lose.

Comparing sling to modified is like comparing apples to oranges.

In Open/sling/fast pitch softball the pitcher is pretty much allowed to throw the ball in an unrestricted motion,
This gives the pitcher the advantage of throwing the ball at high speeds from a close distance
To compensate for this pitching advantage certain rules have been developed to balance this advantage for the offense, For example, bunting, stealing, hit by pitches ( without a ridiculous shirt tucked in rule that the Big Apple uses - this rule is pathetic and childish), passed balls, and three outfielders.

In modified, a pitcher cannot twist his torso, break his wrist, go above 9 or 12 o'clock ( Big Apple says twelve OK that's cool), or throw sidearm.
To limit the batters advantage rules are put in place like allowing 4 outfielders, and allowing runners to advance only when the ball is hit (except pick off attempts).
I know plenty of good modified pitchers like Murphy, Lou 22, Castillo, Edgar Jr, etc who are tough to hit and follow these rules.

I love the big apple league.
I love the competition,
I love the fields,
I love playing in Manhattan.
I even love to hate the teams I want to beat.
I genuinely respect commissioner Jeff Marcus and consider him a a friend. I know he reads this.
But the league has taken an unfortunate turn toward becoming an open league.
There is too much talking.
Too many committees.
Too little action.
Teams simply want an edge.
Slingers are rampant in the league now. Their names are not even worth mentioning b/c
it's so obvious.

What's ironic is that this isn't even a money league.
People want to win out of pride and at all cost.
Somehow that desire to win and pride has been twisted in the wrong direction.

It's a shame b/s the league now more than ever is ultra competitive and balanced, but this blatant disregard for pitching rules is unacceptable.

I see only 2 other possible options now

(1) I suggest the league be broken up into an open and modified division in the future to avoid
these issues.

(2) Another Ice age hits and slingers get wiped out.

Option One is preferred

Tuesday, April 1, 2008


I just started a new "consulting job".
Hey it's a beginning to getting my real life career going again. It's better than watching Oprah.
Funny thing is I've been a Softball Consultant before so why not compare

Top Ten Comparison between a Real Life Work Consultant and a Softball Consultant

10. CHEAP LABOR - both are actually great sources of cheap labor - kind of like going to Home Depot and picking up a Mexican for construction work. Edge : Tie

9. MEDICAL BENEFITS - In the real world, you don't get any medical benefits. In softball, the manager or coach buys you beers and food. Edge Softball

8. Pay: In real life at least it's a paycheck. Softball Consultant gets Nada. Edge Real World

7. Insulation - As a real world consultant if something goes wrong they blame the boss.
In softball, if something goes wrong they blame the manager b/c your advice is behind the scenes. Edge : Softball

6. Low Job Security - In the real world at the 1st sign of trouble your gone.
In softball when things go wrong b/c of bad advice you gave they make you the bullpen catcher or 1st base coach. Edge : Real World - 1st base coach and bullpen catcher positions suck

5. Work Atmosphere - As a consultant your always considered "an other". Not quite an employee. As a softball consultant you usually part of the action. Edge Softball

4. Hours : Some consultants work slave hours, some work flexible hours so this is hard to gauge. In softball a consultant is on DEMAND - he has to be ready to take a phone call, write an email, or handle an issue at any time. Edge : Real World b/c at least you know what your getting into

3. Tax Impact: In the real world consultants write off all their expenses. Softball consultants generate no income so they get no tax benefit. Edge : Real World

2. Drinking : Consultants can't drink or smoke on the job. Softball consultants can.
Edge : Softball

1. Politics : Consultants just do their job and go home. Office politics are less of a factor. In softball, many decisions are political and many times a consultant has to put his friendship on the line. Edge : Real World

Final BreakDown:
Real World 5
Softball 4

Wow it's good to know that the real world is actually more important at something