Friday, November 28, 2008

Pole is to Mound as Stripper is to Pitcher - Law of Transitivity

Top Ten Reasons Why Pole is to Mound as Stripper is to Pitcher

10. Let's get this one out of the way it's their place of business.

They both get $$$ PAID $$$ to perform on them.

Stripper's get money, jewelry, liquor, drugs, cars, etc to bump and grind on the pole.
Ace pitchers get paid in money, jewelry, rides, liquor, food, weed, jobs, apartments, etc to stand on the mound (actually in softball it's usually a hole) and get people out.

9. They work alone on them.

8. They get to show off their bodies out there. Your naked out there with only bouncers and your defense to protect you.

7. You must maintain Concentration and Focus on both otherwise you will get knocked off by all the cat calls, heckling, and yelling.

6.All Eyes are on You. Men look at you, study you, and fantasize about you while you out there. They want you

5. Originality is a must while on them. You always need a new routine, new look , a new song, a new delivery, a new pitch to keep your customers coming back for more. Once you get a customer or batter thinking then you have him where you want him.

4. When your on the Pole or mound you become someone else in order to get the job done.

3. To be successful on each one must maintain Control and Balance

2. You can work on both drunk and high

and the Number One Reasons Why Pole is to Mound as Stripper is to Pitcher

1. Both are a source of Power and Confidence

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

There is another Skywalker : MATT WASOWSKI

While I am not even in the same stratosphere as a player as MATT WASOWSKI, it is good to know that I am not alone in the universe in regards to writing about softball.

There is another softball writing Skywalker - MATT WASOWSKI

Matt published this article a few years ago and it's great stuff

check it out:

p.s. Matt I an openly trying to recruit you (Sorry Marty) to play with me whenever it's convenient for you please contact me at


Monday, November 24, 2008

NUM3R3RS!!!!!!!!!! 4 8 15 16 23 42

They same baseball is a game of numbers.
One common use of numbers comes in the form of statistics.

Batting Average - most common success barometer of a hitter's ability
Batting Avg with men in scoring position - AROD knows all about this number
On Base Percentage - Billy Bean lovers can relate
Number of Stolen Bases - Fantasy Baseball lovers love steals!!!!
ERA - shows a pitchers effectiveness in limiting runs

All the numbers broken down over time mean something.
But we'll leave that nerdy conversation for another time.

Another use of Numbers is identification.
Players wear numbers on the back of their Jersey to let people know who they are.
This number is personal.
It's Your baseball/softball Identity.

What does the number on the back of your Jersey say about you?

10. Favorite Player - You wear a number to honor your childhood hero.
Whether it be Pete Rose, Willie Randolph, Don Mattingly, etc ...
This says your a sentimental fool
9. Number 99 - says your an attention starved weirdo
8. Number 00 - another nut job
7. Number 7 - says your superstitious.
6. Number 13 - Your telling everyone that your so good that you don't care about superstition ( Dan Marino and AROD) - Shows Confidence!!!!!!!!!
5. Birthday - A lot of people wear their birthday for good luck. OK I can see that it's your way of being yourself. "Lou 22" for example
4. Number 69 - your a freak and pervert
3. Honor someone special.
Like Jackie "42" Robinson or Roberto "21" Clemente - you wear the number of someone you admire or miss. This says you have heart and realize baseball/softball is more than just a game.
Tie at #2
2a. Nickname Identification- 10 Mr Top Ten? - loser and weirdo
2b. Age - I knew of a pitcher who wore his age on his jersey - last year he was 72 - says your proud of who you are and that your clever

and the Number One Thing the Number on your jersey says about you

1. Individuality.
As a weird as it sounds, even though your tagged with a number it is really more than just a number. It stands for something. It gives you a meaning, a purpose, an identity

Sunday, November 23, 2008


To quote manager Dio Jackson "It was all or bust" well It's WAS ALL as the Westlanders took, won , nah EARNED the Citysoftball 2008 Championship in freezing temperature's!!!!!!
For the full story check out tomorrow
Congratulation Westlanders!!!!!!

Friday, November 21, 2008


Dio Jackson, (below) manager and exalted ruler of Westlander Nation is down!!!!

Dio is recovery nicely from emergency appendicitis surgery.
Life is Crazy.
I guess softball is just a game in the grand scheme of things.
Rest and get well soon brother.
That's all that's important.
On a lesser note: What about this Sunday in Inwood?
The Westlanders and Criminals are tied 4-4 in the top of the 8th inning in the third and deciding game of the Citysoftball semi-finals.

Talk about High Drama this is it. It's something weird like out of an episode of LOST.

1 inning could decide a trip to the Championship.

Who will make the tough decisions?

Who will make all the phone calls and text messages?

Who will now lead the Nation?


John Sheppard (left below) to return.

John has led West to numerous championships over the years.
He knows what he is doing.
He is loved/respected by the players.
He thought he would have an easy gig as a softball consultant/coach with the Westlanders but now it looks like it's ALL on him.
1 inning for a Championship some softball vacation huh?
He will do fine.

I have to go to freezing Inwood and see how this plays out.
Speaking of going to Inwood, being the retards that he is, Dio will somehow find a way to go. So ....

Top Ten Reasons Dio will Risk Death and further internal damage by going to Inwood this Sunday

10. He's stupid

9. He's really fucking stupid

8. It gives him something to blog about

7. Thinks that it will inspire his team

6. He knows his speeches will be listened to now

5. Psycho

4. Thinks the cold and fresh air will do him good - reality check hommie it's Freezing

3. Will set up web cam and watch it from his Highlander truck

2. Loser

and the Number One Reason Dio will Risk Death and further internal damage by going to Inwood this Sunday

1. He lives for this

PS Dio - stay home - this is serious

Monday, November 17, 2008

KO Ko'd

Yesterday Knockout's defense basically fell part and we failed to advance to the CitySoftball finals.

We were not good enough

In retrospect, this team reminded me a lot of the 2008 Big Apple West team I played on this summer.

A good team that went through a lot and went as far as it could.

On West we couldn't get enough solid ball players and pitchers to show up consistently, but we held it together long enough to make the playoffs and advance to the finals four.

On Knockout we had 9 ball players who quit or got injured on us during an abbreviated 12 games season.

Roll Call of Knockout Lost Players
1Eric "Cabezza" Espinal - KO's SS- hurt his knee in September
2 Carlos Castro - went to play in EMS
3 Alex - didn't like it and quit
4 Lorenzo - quit when Alex quit
5 Sammy - quit due to lack of playing time
6 Gabe - a pitcher that quit
7 Davey - excellent pitcher that quit
8 Jaime - Beast hitter who had to work
9 Walter - short season for new guy was a bad fit

People can blame Blonde, me, the rain, whatever for quiting.
It's not personal to me and it's over. Hey it happens.
But in a short season that is a lot of turnover.
A lot.

But the bottom line is we were not good enough to get beyond the final 4.

In end I would like to thank KO's 8 weekly regular player's for being there rain or shine, 9AM or 3PM , cold weather or heat wave.

Chino - Mr Dependable
Gil - carried us
Eric Z - saved us at SS when Cabezza went down
Mickey - Gave us great versatility and even managed one week
Ralph - quietly had a good season and never quit
Gubi - self proclaimed "The greatest" - but was loyal throughout
Chris Casey - played a very solid 3B
Blonde - who never played 1 inning

I would be foul if I didn't give a shout out to Ko's semi-regulars who shuffled in and out
all season and played important roles:
Jack - smart ball player
Orlando - has great upside
Tommy - "The Natural" is working his way back from 9 ankle surgeries -
Hector - nice guy good hitter
Jarro - catches the ball like a gangster - only guy I never get mad at
Richie - amazing speed - drinks as much Jarro - Lot's of fun to be around
Georgie - Ko's Goon

Thanks guys

Back to the drawing board in 09'

PS is Castillo coming back?

Friday, November 14, 2008


Softball players and managers are superstitious by nature and definitely believe in Karma

Karma - "Karma" literally means "deed" or "act", and more broadly names the universal principle of cause and effect, action and reaction, which Hindus believe governs all consciousness. It is believed that only beings that can distinguish right from wrong, such as adult humans, can accumulate Karma. Karma is not fate; humans are believed to act with free will, creating their own destinies. According to the Vedas, if an individual sows goodness, he or she will reap goodness; if one sows evil, he or she will reap evil.

Leading up to a big game (like this weekend's unique Final Five Inwood playoffs) a player or manager will do anything to avoid bad karma and generate good karma.

No need to Top Ten about it.
Time for talk, blog, phone calls, analysis by paralysis is over.
Sunday is Game day!!!!!!
We all know pitching, talent, skill, focus, and determination is what it's 99.99% about.
But that other .01% Karma is the X-Factor.

It may be only .01%, but you'll take it or at least try and generate it if it helps you win.


Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Mr Top Eleven BOXERS - updated

I usually don't do this but I must add one more Softball - Boxer Connection to this blog.
So for today I am Mr Top Eleven

11. Hector Macho Camacho = Dio Jackson
Both Raised in Manhattan.
Both Love Controversy.
Both Love their hair.

A lot of softball players are boxing fans.
It got me to thinking which Softball players most resemble famous boxers.

Top Ten Softball Player and Boxer Connections

10. Old School Boxing Legend Alexis Arguello = Gilberto Gonzalez

9. Randall "Texas" Cobb = Knockout RR
Bruto strength and a face only a mother could love.

8. Roberto Duran = Bobby Thompson (2nd from left below)
Both have Deadly Hands of Stone. Except Bobby would never say "No Mas"

I think Bobby used to be a boxer, I hope he doesn't kick my ass after reading this

7. George Foreman = Angelo Gonzalez

Both are dangerous Big men.
George Foreman could do more than just grill chicken.
His heavy hands and boxing savvy could knock you out at anytime.
Angelo is always a force in any lineup.

6. Ali = Gubby

Ali was great and loved to tell you how great he was.
Guby may not always be great but he loves to tell you how great he is

5. Sugar Ray = Mickey Peckins
Both so Lightning fast that you can't hit them

4. Oscar De la Hoya = Andy Ayala
The Golden Boy of Boxing has a softball counterpart - Sweet swinging Andy Ayala of the Westlanders.

Nether of these pictures are of Oscar or Andy - they just make me laugh.
Speaking of the Westlanders checkout their site at www.leaguelineup/westlanders

3. Felix Trinidad = Hector Hernandez ( last person standing on the right below)
Both represent Puerto Rico to the fullest.

2. Evander Hollyfield = Ray Ray Westlanders
Underestimated Smooth Power hitters

and the Number One Softball Player Boxer Connection

1. Mike Tyson = George Colon, well almost

Both are little big men that pack a hell of lot of Punch.
George is good guy and only bullies umps when he goes into his rage.
In softball there really isn't anyone I can think of that is as scary and intimidating as Iron Mike Tyson.

PS when you try and use this blog against me, please remember I called myself
Randall Tex Cobb there can be nothing lower than that.

Monday, November 10, 2008


By now everyone knows that Game 5 of the World Series between the eventual World Champion Philadelphia Phillies (yes fellow Met fans get over it) and Tampa Bay Rays was suspended and continued a few days later.

This was unique and kinda ghetto as the game was resumed at the point play ended a few days later with the Phillies earning their 1st Championship in 28 years

Yesterday in Inwood, the quarterfinal playoff game between Knockout and Jicome was suspended after 5 1/2 innings due to darkness all tied at 7.

It's not the 1st time Inwood has had to suspend games and resume them the following week, but hopefully it's the last time this year.

More importantly, a Suspended game is just another excuse for me to Top Ten

Top Ten Things a Continued game feels like

10. A Race - It's clearly a shorter game. Usually the team that scores 1st wins.
9. Time Travel - All your missing is the Delorean from Back to the Future.

Basically, you go to the future to the fix the past or some other space-time continuum riddle.
OK I watched way too much Star Trek when I was latch key kid.
Mr. Spock would say "Illogical"

8. Watching the whole movie and then falling asleep at the end.
You need an ending. So you go back the next day rewind your DVR to the ending to gain closure.
But honestly, all the emotion and mood built up from the beginning of the game is gone.
It's just not the same, kinda Anti-Climatic
7. Waste of Time - Honestly you want to play a whole game not just a couple of innings.
In Central Park fast pitch league it took us 5 days to play 3 games this year b/c of darkness.
It got annoying.
6. Short Changed. You pay $80 for doubleheader but only got $60 worth,
5. A test of Patience from the softball gods - Paciencia y Fe !!!
4. Your about to get lucky and then the girl changes her mind and says NO!!!!!!!
She then tells you "let's wait it's too soon". No further explanation necessary.
3. Standing Line at the DMV - painful but a necessary administrative evil
2. Traffic Jam - nothing to do but sit an wait

and the Number One Things a Continued game feels like

1. Empty - you haven't won or lost yet.
Your in Limbo with the softball gods deciding where your soul goes.

Friday, November 7, 2008


A lot of people always ask me why I make such an ugly serious face when I bat.

Top Ten Reasons Rick makes such an ugly face when he bats

10. I'm angry that I suck
9. I've come a long way, but I'm not quite there yet toward becoming a good hitter
8. Loser
7. Constipated
6. Intense Clown
5. Weirdo
4. Angry that Chelo makes more money than I do
3. It's natural
2. Trying to make the pitcher laugh and get a walk

and the Number One Reasons Rick makes such an ugly face when he bats

1. Who cares

Thursday, November 6, 2008

YES WE CAN!!!!!!!!!!


He has become the 1st US African-American President making history!!!!

More importantly, what does that do for softball?

Silly question I think not.

It will CHANGE, INSPIRE, IMPROVE not only the nation but also softball and here's how

Top Ten ways Barack Obama's presidency effects softball

10. Speeches - managers will play Barack's amazing inspirational speeches to their teams before games against seemingly unbeatable opponents. Teams will huddle together before games and say Obama or YES WE CAN on the count of three.
9. Change - Change was the theme of Barack's election, it should also be the theme of many leagues that blindly allow illegal pitching.
8. Republican softball players will have more time to to concentrate on improving their game now that they don't have to defend George Bush.
Checkout the following George Bush interview

7. Democratic players will be happy now and be able to relax and focus
6. Less Ignorance - Maybe now more softball players that don't vote,and you know who you are, will actually vote.
5. Most increased taxes will be on people making over 250,000 so most players have nothing to worry about. Umpires could care less since they don't report cash umpire income anyway.
4. Softball is safe from media queen Sarah Palin.
That joke of a VP candidate can go back to Alaska where they probably don't play much softball. Checkout Sarah:
3. League Presidents and Commissioners will be held to a higher standard.
2. Shows that the rest of the world is catching up to and learning from softball.
In softball race doesn't matter, just your ability to play.

and the Number One Thing Barack Obama's presidency will do for softball

1. Proof that Anything is possible - If Barack can rise to power then you can improve your game. Just don't expect miracles to happen over night.

PS this was a tough top ten to write - what a stretch

Wednesday, November 5, 2008


What would a season by without everyone getting together and on the count of three say Cheese or any Spanish curse word you can think of that sounds funny.

Top Ten Things a Softball Team Picture remind us of

10. Our humble beginnings and how far we have come
Highlander team Picture 2004

Highlanders are now a NYC softball institution.

9.Old Friends

This picture shows Inwood legend Oscar Cardenty (2nd from left) with his 1999-2000
Charlie Chaplin mustache.
Other NYC Softball Celebrities like Father and Son tandem Q and Dusty show up as well.
Where are they now?

8. Puerto Ricans always bend down in the front row

John Colon, Willie Ferrer, and Jose Carrion show Rick's 1st below 96th street player
Sky Milch (middle) the proper Hispanic team picture crouch technique in Lob Ball Champ's Revolution 2002 team picture.

7. Unity

West took the league by storm in 2001 with a team that still still very much
in place today. Except Richie Christy is lost somewhere in Staten Island.

6. Achieving a Goal
A team picture is always a lot better after you win a championship.
It's something you look at and will always make you proud and bring a smile to your face.

I will always look fondly at the Bombers team picture above because we beat a great pitcher to capture the 2008 NY Fast Pitch Title.

While the 2007 Big Apple West Championship is a great picture b/c that team overcame losing every first round game on their road to glory.

More importantly, sloppy bad Santa Murphy lying on the ground is funny.

5. The guy who does the least is usually the biggest camera hog in the picture

Case in point Rick pointing to the Sky in Knockout's 2006 Championship picture.

4. Liquor
After the softball game there is the after party.
The liquor bottle in the Phillies championship picture above (middle) says it all

3. Money and Style - several points to note
How much money we spend on uniforms. They ain't cheap. It cost money to look good
How much we like different colors - we are like gangs - gotta have our colors
How funny we look in uniforms.
Also, how bad we dress at times.

Why does Ricky always role up his sleeves (far left below making a muscle)?
Doesn't he know the 80's are over and has no muscles?

Another thing to note that it's in style to change teams.
Player movement is prevalent throughout most of the pictures you've seen above.

2. Tie - Fingers ( and I don't mean middleto the sky)
Someone always does the peace sign or does the thumbs up sign

As you've seen in other pictures above raising the index finger to let everyone know your number one is popular but holding up multiple fingers to remind everyone how many championships you've won is better - see West 4-peat below

and the Number One thing the Softball Team Picture remind us of

1. How young, in shape, and skinny we used to be. Man it's time to go jogging

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

We attack at Dawn!!!!!

The Fidel Castro dictator management of Citysoftball has spoken and given the order that 3 of the 4 quarter finals games will be played at 9AM this weekend

Some people love playing 9AM games some people hate playing 9AM.
The reasons are fairly obvious.
No need to Top Ten (Thank God).

More importantly, let's look at the 6 teams that play early and analyze their ability to answer the 9AM bell.

Chaos vs. Westlanders

No problem.
A key to fielding a team at 9AM is to have Caucasian players.
They have that covered. White Power

They have been playing at 9Am all year and with a talented roster of their size it should not be an issue.

Ability to Start on Time
Thumbs Up - no problem

Next on the list is the intriguing match up between Jicome and Knockout
In Week 3 both teams squared up at 9Am and started on time, but that was 20 degrees ago.

Jicome - is a Dominican team and Dominicans are notorious for hating to play softball before 3PM.

However, Jicome is a close knit team with 3 good starting pitchers, they will be there with 10 guys by 9:15 sharp.

The composition of Knockout's team is much like the Statue of Liberty

motto of
""Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!"

Knockout, like NY, is a racial melting pot.
Knockout will probably have an all responsible team with the Rick's of the world there at
9:10 AM sharp and an all irresponsible team there by 10:40. Oh man

Ability to Start on Time
Thumb Medium - will start at around 9:22 Am

The final 9AM match up pits the HardCore Dominican Bizchocheros (cake makers) vs the young Americanized Hispanics called the Tianos

Unlike most Dominicans the Bizchocheros love 9AM games and should be there early say about by 9:07 Am.

The Tianos are very talented and hungry enough to win, but they just hate playing early.
They will get there like 9:21. 1 minute after forfeit.

Ability to Start on Time

Thumb Down - will start at around 9:40AM

9AM FALL LEAGUE - It's all about survival of the fittest!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!